i have never related so much to a tiktok
you can make nearly any object into a good insult if you put ‘you absolute’ in front of it
example: you absolute coat hanger
as well u can just add ‘ed’ to any object and it’s sounds like you were really drunk
example: i was absolutely coat hangered last night
Meanwhile, “utter” works for the first (e.g., “you utter floorboard”) but somehow “utterly” doesn’t seem to work as well for the second (“I was utterly floorboarded”).
Utterly doesn’t work for drunk because it’s the affix for turning random objects into terms for *shocked*, obviously.
… huh. I thought that might just be the similarity to “floored”, and yet “I was utterly coat hangered” does seem to convey something similar.
I have to tell you, I am utterly sandwiched at this discovery.
Completely makes the phrase mean “super tired”.
“God, it’s been a long week, I am completely coat-hangered.”
Something is
Something is wrong with our language
Is it a glitch or a feature?
Feature
this neat feature is called collocative substitution, and it occurs when certain words are strongly linked to certain context and/or phrases. when you read/hear a pair of words that usually wouldn’t go together, your brain fills in the context with what would normally be inferred, given the originally phrased pairing. thus, finding out that there’s a term for this phenomenon may indeed leave you utterly sandwiched. lesser known or less strongly linked phrases and pairings may not be able to translate substituted words to appropriately fit the inferred context, so you were not utterly floorboarded at the club last night, but rather you were absolutely floorboarded, and as this explanation continues to drag on, you may by the end of it find yourself completely coathangered from read it all.
I, like all linguists I have met or even heard of, have a deep intricate love-hate relationship with the English Language because of complete and total coathangering like this
I collected a bunch of "haha I don't have 2020 vision" "oh God not like that" posts
I wouldn’t mind a sequel to this post 🤣
I have kept coming back to this post to see the reblogs, so I can give you the ones other people collected all in one place:
This one I actually found myself!
And I don’t think that this counts, but it still has the beautiful “Ah, fuck” vibes the rest of the post does:
And let’s not forget the cursed “Supernatural GIF Perfectly Describes 2020″ one:
@ferrousferrule: You said you were looking for more and going through the reblogs, right? In which case this isn’t going to be of much use to you, but still. Just in case it is. :)
I just knew having a tag for these would come in handy
Ya know how in Watchmen, Dr. Manhattan exists in all times at the same time? That’s what watching this felt like. I am both in 2020 and 2005. Who is this intrepid time traveler???
Someone on Twitter pointed out that apart from all the different elements, this is a master class in story telling and comedic timing.
I was high off my ass last night and had this dream where I was in this dense ass forest and sitting there was a tall woman. She was so tall I couldn’t see her face but she was wearing gold and I was like “uh…hi?” And she said “I made you, do you know that?” And I nodded and she was like “I hear your thoughts. Why do you hate my creation? Why do you try to destroy yourself? I made you perfect as you are. Please don’t break my heart”. Then she started crying and it flooded and I woke up with fucking heart palpitations like what does it Mean™️????
polar opposite of this post
inspiration struck and would not let me go until i drew this
This is really beautiful!!!
me, originally: if you’re paying attention, there are enough contextual hints thrown in to keep track of the witcher timelines without extra indicators. it’s fine.
the official timeline: jaskier and geralt had known each other for 22 years by the dragon episode.
me: actually, no, you really needed to tell us that.
I love that the show creator’s response to this was basically “Oh yeah. We forgot Jaskier isn’t immortal like the other main characters and probably should have aged him. Oops.”
i for one vote that they just commit and make him immortal too
finding out jaskier is 18 in episode 2:
okay sure i can play along with that
finding out he’s 41 in episode 6:
I thought Yen was just being catty about his crow’s feet, are you telling me they actually knew each other for decades??
I’m firmly of the opinion that Jaskier is immortal by now. You can’t spend 22 years chasing around a Witcher and not catch a case of immortality—it’s like background radiation to all the dead wraiths, sorcereresses, and vampires he’s seen.
I envision Geralt and/or Yennefer saying, “oh yeah, he’s a normal human, what do they usually live…150 years? 300?” And Jaskier, who’s secretly been a vampire for the last 50 years of their acquaintance, is like, “Yes That Is A Normal Human Lifespan.”
Yes to all of this but I also still love the idea that Jaskier doesn’t fully know he is immortal for like maybe twenty years. But one day, someone makes a comment in a village about being ‘young and twenty again’ referring to him, it finally clicks. Like holy hell he isn’t ageing. Like. what does this mean?? IS THIS SOMETHING GERALT DID? HOW DOES JASKIER FEEL ABOUT THIS???
So next time he sees Geralt, Jaskier just like lays HEAVILY on the hints that yeah, he gets complimented on his youthful visage all the time, and wow I really am looking so good for my age, its almost suspicious wouldn’t you say Geralt, and then when thats not working just a straight hey Geralt, I think I’m immortal now. Did you do this??
And Geralt. Just. Straight up doesn’t understand. Like to him, Jaskier looks the same? So what? Humans are weird and age differently, Geralt isn’t an expert, he doesn’t hang around a human to watch them age and die.
When he asks Yen, she just shrugs and straight up Doesn’t Care, which has a double bonus of making Jaskier even more frustrated with her.
So Geralt and Yen just sort of brush off Jaskier’s arguments including no grey hair guys- not one and his dad went full silver at age thirty three did you know. And its their sort of causal acceptance that gradually just makes Jaskier start to think that hey, maybe he has been just very lucky with aging, and really Geralt has been around long enough to surely notice another immortal. And Jasker just sort of accepts that he isn’t immortal, despite the fact he Really Obviously Is You Dumbasses. And its just never mentioned again.
we are already living in the cyberpunk future and i know this because within a span of 3 days we went from this tweet:
to thousands of people making phony images and replying to them with their passionate desire to have them as a tshirt to overload the bots with nonsense and junk and send out warnings to shoppers like this:
and now we even have people replying to pictures of baby yoda with “i want this on a tshirt” knowing how ravenous disney is being with copyright in hopes to get the stores taken down altogether
i dont know what it is about stuff like this and the whole turn mei into a symbol of hk protesters thing but, its really reassuring for some reason
And the next step…
Holy shit y’all look at the front page of the site right now
Oh my god
Anyway, I just emailed
tips@disneyantipiracy.com
to report the site for very evilly stealing Disney’s IP! Because obviously that is very evil and bad and shit.
I’ve never seen such a perfect example of fighting fire with fire.
Holy fucking shit
I’m DYING.
contraband-sequin-headband